Wasting Days Away

Hello from Canada! 

This trip has been a much needed break from reality. The hubs and I have spent days watching episode after episode of Mad Men curled up on the couch. Spending afternoons and evenings with nieces, nephews, brothers and sisters, parents, aunts and uncles, and great friends has been the lotion to our ashy knees- the Buckley's to our sinus infection, the chocolate to our pms...in other words, it has been the perfect solution. We are so thankful to have a place where everyone can come together and truly cherish the time we get to spend with his side of the family. 

Mornings with nothing on the agenda have led to wonderful quiet times and studies. I have been able to catch up on some church services led by one of my favorite pastors, Miles Macphereson. Miles is the pastor at The Rock Church in San Diego, but I have known him since I was a little girl running around my family's Chicago home. My parents are very fond of Miles and his wife and Miles often tells me "I met you when you were this big! (hand at mid thigh.) He has been a blessing to me ever since I was old enough to really understand how fantastic his method is. He preaches God's word in its truest form and never pretends to be anything he's not. No judgement, no stiff rules, no changing to please a large crowd- just plain Word. 

I scrolled through the message archives and was instantly drawn to the series 'Will I Am.' Aside from the fact that it instantly made me sing Boom Boom Pow in my head, the description led me no choice. I have been on a very public search for God's call on my life recently. I ask anyone and everyone when they felt a draw towards a certain thing- an undeniable call from our Father thad led them one way or the other. Some people had large eureka moments, while others were directed through His creation rather than His direct voice. After one morning with Part 1 of this series, I had a journal scribbled all over with drawings and notes in attempt to write down every thing he said and described. It was that good. 

One of the parts that spoke to me most (I have backspaced the answer about six times...there were too many parts that spoke to me most.) was the fact that every single part of our bodies is meant to be a living sacrifice to God. I had of course heard this in Sunday School and Church since day one, but hearing it broken down in a new way really made it new to me. I say on almost a daily basis that I don't know what the Lord has planned for my life. I don't know what I am supposed to do with my talents, and I don't know exactly which talent to develop. I let time pass me by wondering when He will direct me to my Yellow Brick Road of His perfect will. I am terrified of making a mistake and have vivid visions of myself ten years from now having chosen the wrong path- crying in an empty bathtub, mascara running, with a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream. If only to avoid that scene alone- I refuse to mess up! 

I have always been constantly aware of how I measured up. Both fortunately and unfortunately, I know all of my faults at all times. 

Psalm 119: 9-11 has a perfect remedy. 

9 How can a young man keep his way pure? 

By living according to your word. 

10 I seek you with all my heart; 

do not let me stray from your commands. 

11 I have hidden your word in my heart 

that I might not sin against you. 

How beautiful is that? I mean how perfect? 'How can I cleanse my way? How can I stay pure and make sure I'm working according to his purpose?' LIVE BY HIS WORD! Sometimes, when it's just that simple, it makes me nervous. Because that means the ball is completely in my court. I can't lean on the crutch of "Lord, I can't hear you, I don't know what you want me to do so I'm just gonna chill til' I hear you" because His word tells us exactly what to do. We just need to obey. Simply. 

If I am living by His word, I am being His good and faithful servant. I may not know if I am supposed to be an artist or a fashion journalist- a shoe designer or personal stylist- an editor or writer...but I do know if I keep strolling down the path of obedience, I will absolutely run into the Yellow Brick Road in His perfect timing.